The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Avast, me hearties! A cursed golf chariot, bewitched by grog, plowed through five landlubbers at a copper's shindig!

2024-08-08

Arrr, matey! A cursed golf cart, meant to mimic a drunken sailor on the high seas, went on a rampage at a New Jersey shindig, knockin' down five poor souls! The lawmen be sayin' it ran amok like a scallywag with a belly full o' rum!

Ahoy mateys! Gather 'round for a jolly tale from the shores of New Jersey, where a fine police event took a turn fit for a tempest! During a National Night Out, designed to keep the scallywags from drinkin’ and drivin’, a golf cart be havin’ a mind of its own, plunderin’ through a course of orange cones and crashin’ into five unsuspectin’ landlubbers.

As the tale goes, a young lad and a brave officer were takin’ a spin when their cart broke free from its moorings, rakin’ in casualties like a pirate at a treasure hunt! Four adults and a wee lad found themselves in dire need of a ship’s medic, bein’ whisked away to Cape Regional Medical Center for treatment. Thankfully, three of 'em were released from their shipwrecked fate, but two still be tethered to their beds as of the last word.

The Wildwood Police, in their finest garb, expressed their woes for those injured, sayin’ it be a disconcertin’ event that no one wished to see. This annual gatherin’ be meant to strengthen bonds 'twixt the law and the good folk of the town, but alas, even a low-speed cart can send a sailor flyin’! The investigation be still blowin’ in the wind, so keep yer ears to the ground, ye salty sea dogs!

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