The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! The swashbucklin' stuntmaster be sayin', "We filmed for R, but settled fer PG-13—blowin' heads clean off, matey!"

2024-08-09

Arrr, me hearties! Aye, a squall of loyal scallywags be grumblin' ‘bout the flick's woeful shortage o' blood and thunder! They be wantin' more sword fightin' and cannon fire, not a sailin’ trip through a tea party! Give 'em a ruckus, I say!

Arrr, matey! Gather 'round, ye scallywags, for I’ve a tale to spin about a jolly band of landlubbers who be mighty displeased! It seems the loyal fans o' a certain game be raisin' a ruckus like a ship caught in a tempest. They be cryin' foul, claimin' the film adaptation be as soft as a landloper’s pillow!

“Where be the blood and guts?” they bellow, their voices like thunder in a squall. “We demand swords clashing and cannons blastin’, not this here frothy nonsense!” Aye, they be yearning for the glorious violence that be the lifeblood of their beloved game. ‘Tis a fine thing, ye see, to have a hearty skirmish or two! Who doesn’t fancy a good ol' swordfight, with limbs a-flyin' and grog spilt all over the deck?

But nay, the film be a treasure chest of softer fare, leavin' these fans feelin’ more cheated than a sailor stuck with a dry biscuit! They be likin’ their tales full o' danger and daring, not this frippery of feelin's and friendships. So, raise yer tankards, ye merry brigands, and let us toast to the hope that future adaptations bring back the glorious carnage we crave! Aye!

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