The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, the sands of time be runnin' out fer the Harris hidey-hole! Liberal landlubbers best hoist their sails and get to work!

2024-08-09

Arrr, ye scallywags of the news seas, 'tis time ye grow a backbone! Tell that landlubber Harris to quit sendin’ her minions and face the crew herself. Let her jaw flap like a parrot in the wind, or we’ll make her walk the plank!

Arrr, me hearties! Aye, it be over three weeks since our fine matey Kamala Harris claimed the presumptive title of the Democratic crew, but lo and behold, she hasn’t granted a single interview nor held court with the press! Nay, just two wee queries on a tarmac, and then she vanished like a ghost ship in the fog!

We’ve gone from Biden-Harris to Hidin’ Harris, and that be a dangerous course, I tell ye! The sycophants in the liberal media be needin’ to muster some courage and demand this lass come out of her hidey-hole! We be wantin’ the captain herself, not her parrots squawkin’ on her behalf!

In a fortnight, she be settin’ sail to accept her nomination in Chicago! Aye, for the first time, she’s a candidate who be avoiding the voters like a cursed treasure map! If she don’t start talkin’, she’ll be lettin’ others steer her ship, and that be a right slippery deck to stand on!

Me thinks it’s time for Kamala to hoist her colors and answer the questions that plague the crew! The voters be deserve more than mere whispers from her advisors! So, come on, lass, get out of the brig and face the storm! The seas of politics be waitin’ for ye, and the crew be needin’ their captain to lead the way!

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