Arrr, the VP be givin' the cold shoulder to Gov. Shapiro, claimin' a treasure o' $1.1 billion fer schools!
2024-08-10
Arrr, mateys! Governor Josh Shapiro be raisin' the Jolly Roger o’ knowledge with a treasure trove o’ $1.1 billion for the young scallywags’ learnin’! He be celebratin’ this bounteous booty with a grand signing, makin’ the seas of education a wee bit brighter! Savvy?
Avast ye landlubbers! Gather 'round as I regale ye with the tale of Governor Josh Shapiro, a scallywag of Pennsylvania, who sailed into the hallowed halls of Amanda E. Stout Elementary to announce a grand treasure of $1.1 billion for public education! Aye, this bounty be the largest ye ever seen in the fair Commonwealth's history, sure to fill the minds of young mateys with knowledge aplenty!But hark! Just days prior, our Governor found himself cast aside by Vice President Kamala Harris, who chose a landlubber from Minnesota instead. Oh, the sting of rejection stings more than a barnacle on yer backside! Yet, Shapiro gathered his crew—teachers, students, and the honorable Dr. Khalid N. Mumin—to celebrate this glorious windfall for K-12 education.
This here budget be as fair as a mermaid’s kiss, directing doubloons to the districts most in need. The Reading School District, a once-sunken ship of underfunding, will see an increase of $40 million, as the good captain Shapiro promised to keep the sails full and the future bright for our young buccaneers.
So raise yer tankards to education, me hearties! With mental health riches and safety booty, the seas of learning be charting a course for generations of greatness! Aye, Shapiro vows to return next year, for this voyage be only the beginning!