Arrr! Lass nabbed for stashing a wee babe in a dumpster—cold case warmer than a fresh catch, I say!
2024-08-11
Arrr, on the Friday past, a lass was nabbed for a nearly ancient tale, where a wee babe was discovered in a rubbish heap in the fair port of Riverside, California! Aye, th' case be colder than a sea dog’s nose in winter! Blimey, what a hoot!
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather ‘round, fer I’ve got a tale o’ intrigue from the lands of California, where a lass named Melissa Jean Allen Avila, now the ripe age of 55, found herself in a right pickle after bein’ arrested for a nearly ancient crime! Aye, this be no ordinary tale, fer it involves a wee babe discovered in a dumpster almost 37 years past, back when the sea was still young and the pirates roamed free.In the year of our Lord 1987, when Avila was but a scallywag of 19, she left her newborn lass in a rubbish heap! A brave soul diggin’ for treasures of recyclables stumbled upon the poor little mermaid, and the winds of fate brought the case to rest—until 2020, that be, when the detectives pulled out their trusty magnifying glasses and reopened the case o’ mystery!
Through the magic of DNA, they found Avila livin' far away in Shelby, North Carolina. With the swiftness of a ship in full sail, they brought her back to face the music in Riverside. Now, she be sittin’ in a jail cell, her bail set at a mighty $1.1 million, while the police chief proclaims a victory for justice. Arrr, the saga continues, as her arraignment be comin’ up on the 9th of September. Stay tuned, me hearty comrades! What a whirlpool of mischief this be!