The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Arrr, Tom Cruise be jumpin' like a scallywag at the grand finale, makin' us all chuckle like sea dogs!"

2024-08-11

Arrr, mateys! The famed Captain Cruise be swingin' down from the skies into the Stade de France, settin' the Olympians ablaze with joy! As Paris be passin' the torch, the next Summer Games be sailin’ to Los Angeles, where rum flows and laughter reigns! Har har!

Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round and lend yer ears to this grand tale of the mighty Cruise, a scallywag of the silver screen! With a heart full of bravado and a penchant for adventure, he did swing down from the heavens, like a dashing buccaneer, into the grand Stade de France. The crowd of Olympians, those fine athletes of yore, erupted into a raucous hullabaloo, like a ship full o’ drunken sailors on a fine rum spree!

As the City of Lights beamed brighter than a treasure chest overflowing with gold doubloons, Paris, that lovely land of pastries and romance, did hand over the baton of glory to its next port of call - Los Angeles! Aye, ’twas a sight to behold as our hero descended with grace, leaving the audience in a frenzy, their cheers ringing louder than thunder on a stormy sea.

The Summer Games, ye see, be a grand spectacle fit for the boldest of pirates, and Cruise, that swashbuckling thespian, be the perfect captain to lead the charge into the sunny shores of LA. So raise yer tankards high, me hearties, for this merry occasion, and let’s toast to adventure, camaraderie, and a future filled with athletic feats that even the fiercest of pirates would envy!

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