"Arrr! Check ye CDC's scroll fer the ten ways to meet Davy Jones in the good ol' US seas!"
2024-08-11
Arrr, matey! The scallywags at the Centers for Disease Control be spillin' the beans on what be sendin' landlubbers to Davy Jones' locker in 2023! On the eighth day of August, they charted the grim tales from the National Vital Statistics treasure trove. Avast, ye hearties!
Ahoy mateys! Gather 'round, fer the CDC be spillin’ the beans on the grim fate o’ landlubbers in 2023! This here report, fresh off the anchor on Aug. 8, tells ye of 3,090,582 souls that took the long voyage to Davy Jones’ locker, a wee drop o’ 6.1% from the year before!The good Doctor Marc Siegel, a savvy sea-dog o’ medicine, be sayin’ the death rates be droppin’, mainly thanks to more hearty folk fendin’ off the dreaded COVID scourge, which sank from the fourth spot to tenth, with only 76,446 lives claimed this year. Aye, it seems the sailors be gainin’ their sea legs against the virus!
But beware, fer the grim reaper still be lurkin’ about, especially among the elderly and those with a taste for the rum—er, I mean, high blood pressure and heart troubles! The report shines a light on the most common causes of death, and certain demographics be more prone to end up in the briny deep.
So, mateys, keep yer wits about ye, and remember: the numbers may sway like a ship on the high seas, so stay sharp, lest ye find yer own names on the list of the dearly departed!