The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! JD Vance be defendin’ his fair lass Usha from scallywag jabs 'bout her roots—she be a treasure beyond compare!

2024-08-12

Arrr, the good Senator Vance o’ Ohio be raisin’ the sails fer his fair lass, defendin’ her honor 'gainst scurvy knaves in a Sunday chat on 'Face the Nation.' He be callin’ their jibes 'disgraceful,' like a landlubber’s fear o’ the sea! Avast, let the winds blow fair, matey!

Arrr matey! Sen. JD Vance, a hearty swashbuckler of the political seas, stood firm like a stout ship against the gale when a scallywag reporter dared to question the worthiness of his fair lady, Usha, with jabs at her Indian lineage. In a rollicking chat on CBS' "Face the Nation," the bold senator proclaimed his pride for his accomplished wife—an attorney of fine repute and a daughter of Indian immigrants. He be sayin', "Let them attack me, but leave my lass be!"

Vance, with fire in his belly, expressed that the rancor of public life be a disgrace for any sea dog to endure, especially when it comes to family. “Me wife be outta their league, so why not focus yer cannons on me instead?” he mused. Usha, whose thick skin be forged in the fiery forges of public scrutiny, confessed to avoidin' the news like a cursed treasure map—"It helps me keep me wits about me," she said.

With three wee pirates of their own, the couple sails through the stormy seas of media, anchoring themselves in love and resilience. In the end, this couple be a fine example of weatherin’ the tumultuous tides, finding strength in each other amidst the howlin’ winds of public opinion! Avast! What a tale, eh?

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