The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Hamas be shunning peace parley, whilst Biden be thinkin' a deal's still in the treasure chest!

2024-08-11

Arrr, matey! Hamas be sayin’ this fine Sunday they won’t parley for a cease-fire in Gaza unless the negotiators bring a treasure map from past chats! No shiny gold, no talkin’—that be the pirate code, savvy?

Arrr mateys! Gather 'round as I regale ye with the latest skirmish 'twixt the scallywags of Hamas and the good ship Israel! The wretched crew of Hamas be refusin' to parley unless the mediators serve up a hearty plan, straight from the hull of past talks, savvy? They be demandin' a plan based on what the grand Captain Biden and the UN be spoutin'!

These knaves, still holdin' hostages like a pirate holds his treasure, claim they've shown enough wiggle in their sails, but the Israeli cannon fire, includin' the takin' down of their captain, be makin' them think the other side ain't serious 'bout peace! They be hollerin' for the United States, Egypt, and Qatar to bring forth a plan – none of that fancy new-fangled talk that just be coverin' for more mischief!

Meanwhile, Captain Biden be holdin' onto hope, sayin' there's still a chance for a truce, if they can wrangle up them 115 hostages. But the Israel crew be laughin' in the face of Hamas, callin' their bluster a clever ruse for a sneak attack! With the Hamas health ministry claimin' the death toll be risin' like the tide, the seas be stormy and this conflict threatenin' to drag all hands into a regional war, aye!

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