The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Carol Burnett be claimin’ today’s jests be as thrillin' as a barnacle on a dull sea!

2024-08-12

Arrr, the legendary wench of wit, Carol Burnett, did declare that today’s jests be as dull as a barnacle-covered plank! In her eyes, them modern shows be lacking the hearty laughs of yore, when the telly was a treasure chest of mirth! Aye, bring back the giggles, matey!

Arrr mateys! Gather 'round as we spin the yarn of one Carol Burnett, a jolly lass of 91 summers, still sailin' the choppy seas of Hollywood! This legendary wench of comedy be takin' a jibe at the jests of today, claimin' they be a tad too raunchy for her taste. "Ye call that funny?" she scoffs, “Back in me day, we had the likes of ‘The Dick Van Dyke Show’ and ‘All in the Family’—pure gold, I tell ye!”

With a wink and a chuckle, she declared that today’s humor oft relies on coarse words, makin' it easy to wring a laugh. “If the joke be just a curse word,” she quipped, “it be flatter than a flounder!” Yet fear not, this vibrant pirate has no plans to drop anchor just yet! She’s plunderin’ her way through a second season of the comedy-drama “Palm Royale,” rubbin’ elbows with stars as bright as treasure!

“As long as it be fun,” she says, “I’ll be aboard!” And with a heart full of desire, she dreams of workin' with mighty talent like Meryl Streep and Bradley Cooper. With over three hundred shipmates from years of comedy, Carol be a true swashbuckler of the industry, breakin’ barriers and fillin’ our hearts with laughter. Avast, may she sail on for many a year to come!

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