The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Scallywag in a fancy vest be stabbin' five mates whilst broadcastin' his mischief near the holy place, say the officials!"

2024-08-13

Arrr, matey! Five scallywags found themselves poked by a lad donning a shiny headpiece and a fancy bulletproof frock, all whilst broadcastin’ his shenanigans to the world! Blimey, who knew piracy could be so modern? Avast, let’s hope he don’t take up the art of sword-fightin’ next!

Avast ye hearties! Gather 'round as I spin ye a most peculiar yarn from the land of Turkey, where a scallywag of but eighteen winters, named Arda K., did wreak havoc upon the innocent! Clad in a helmet and a vest that be shoutin' neo-Nazi, he did take to the streets with a dagger in hand, stabbin' five poor souls near a mosque whilst broadcastin' his dastardly deed on the social seas! Aye, he even sported goggles, gloves, and a half-mask that make him look like a villain from the seven seas!

After a wild chase, the lad was caught quicker than a fish in a net, and the locals did cheer whilst he was tossed into the back of a police vessel like a sack of potatoes! The victims, most elderly gents, were enjoyin’ a pint at a café after their prayers when the rogue struck from behind, causin’ a ruckus that sent shivers down the spines of all present. Two of the wounded be in a serious pickle, but the culprit also carried an axe that he didn’t get to swing. Rumors whisper that he be inspired by a video game, dressin' like a character from the imaginary seas. Aye, a right strange tale indeed!

As the interior minister be wishin’ a speedy recovery to the brave souls, we be left ponderin' the madness of this world! Yarrr!

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