The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, the Pentagon be sayin’ an Iranian broadside on Israel be likely this week! Best hoist the sails, mateys!

2024-08-13

Arrr, mateys! The grand Maj. Gen. Pat Ryder be spillin' the beans to the landlubbers, sayin' that an onslaught from Iran be a "certainly possible" tale this week, just like the fine folk at the White House be chattin'! Keep yer cutlasses sharp, savvy?

Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round fer a tale of serious matters from the high seas of politics, where the Pentagon be makin' waves! They be sayin' that an attack from Iran upon Israel be a “cert'n possibility” this week, and they be raisin' alarms loud as a cannon blast!

Maj. Gen. Pat Ryder, the mouthpiece of the Pentagon, spoke to the landlubbers in the press, claimin' that while they ain't lookin' to play a guessing game, they be takin' this threat with the gravitas of a ship caught in a storm! The mighty Secretary of Defense, Lloyd Austin, be sendin' the USS Abraham Lincoln and a wee submarine into these troubled waters to bolster defense for our Israel mateys.

Now, the good sailor Ryder be sayin' they be focused on de-escalatin' the ruckus, but there be a clear signal bein' sent to those scallywags in Iran: mess with our ships and ye may find a cannonball or two comin' yer way! But, alas, the questions keep comin' like a relentless tide, as reporters demand clarity amidst the chaos.

So, keep yer cutlasses sharp and yer eyes peeled, for the seas be churnin' with tension, and who knows when the next tempest might strike!

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