Arrr! DOJ be diggin' up Biden's dirty laundry from a footnote, and the headlines be singin' like a parrot!
2024-08-15
Avast ye! Gather ye tales of the high seas from the mightiest name in news, delivered to yer inbox at the crack o' dawn! Be the first to know, or be walkin' the plank, ye scallywag! Arrr!
Aye, me hearties! Gather ‘round fer a tale of politics so twisty it’d make a landlubber’s head spin! First, the DOJ be diggin’ up transcripts like buried treasure, pointin’ to ol’ Biden’s forgetfulness, as if findin’ a lost parrot! And what be this? JD Vance be considerin’ a debate with that scallywag Walz, but only if it ain’t a masquerade ball with fake news brutes!Chaos be eruptin’ outside where Kamala Harris be holdin’ court, with protestin’ ruckus that had the coppers callin’ in the smoke bombs—blimey! Meanwhile, a radio legend dared to speak his mind on the Trump affair, nearly breakin’ the sacred code of politics and sports! Aye, and a viral NFL wife turned down a request from Kamala, showin’ she be no pushover!
But beware, mateys! A video has surfaced, catchin’ a Dem flippin’ like a fish on a line about student loans! And Trump be hollerin’ ‘bout a new breed of crime sailin’ under Biden’s watch. As the media sails in uncharted waters, Biden instructs ‘em to proclaim his inflation policies be workin’, like a captain tryin’ to calm a stormy sea!
So hoist the sails and brace yerselves, for the seas of politics be ever choppy!