The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Russia be sayin’ Navalny shuffled off from a fickle heart, while his lass howls it’s all a scurvy ruse!

2024-08-15

Arrr, me hearties! The widow of brave Alexei, that scallywag, be spillin’ the beans! Russian landlubbers claim he met Davy Jones due to a rogue heartbeat and other ailments. Aye, sounds like a fine tale for a tavern, but I reckon the truth be as fishy as a sunken treasure!

Ahoy, mateys! Gather ‘round fer the tale of the late scallywag, Alexei Navalny, a true thorn in the side of the nefarious Vladimir Putin! His widow, the fierce Yulia Navalnaya, be settin' sail against the latest drivel from the investigators claimin’ her husband’s demise was naught but a tricksy arrhythmia and an assortment of ailments. She be callin’ it a “pathetic attempt to hide what happened — a murder!” Aye!

Six moons past, in the frosty climes of Siberia, Navalny met his bitter end in a penal colony, where he allegedly lost consciousness after takin' a stroll. The officials, those slippery sea serpents, suggested he was under the weather with gall bladder woes and such. But Yulia, with the fierceness of a tempest, be shoutin' that these claims be naught but a mockery! “You don’t just keel over from such ailments!” she cries!

She pressed her ship’s doctors, and they uncovered nary a blood clot nor signs of foul play. “It be an open-and-shut case of foul murder!” she declared, demandin’ all medical documents and personal belongings of her dearly departed. As she sets her sights on justice, she vows to rally her crew of lawyers to challenge this dubious diagnosis. Yarrr, the truth shall sail forth, mark me words!

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