"Arrr! Harris be settin' sail with a treasure map of gold coins for the campaign, savvy? And more news be brewin'!"
2024-08-16
Avast, me hearties! Snatch yer tales o' the seven seas from the mightiest name in news, delivered to yer inbox at the break o' dawn! Be the first to know, or be walkin' the plank, ye scallywags! Arrr!
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather ye round for a tale of the landlubbers in power, where the winds be blowin' ripe for shenanigans! First up, our lass Kamala Harris be tryin’ to weave a web o’ price control, and critics be callin’ her a lunatic! Arrr, that be a rough sea to sail!Then we have the good Rev. Franklin Graham, settin’ the sails against those evangels usin’ his father’s likeness for their own mischief! Aye, that be a slippery deck to tread, matey!
Tim Walz be scrubbin’ away his policies faster than a sailor cleanin’ barnacles off the hull, while in the sports arena, fans be throwin’ daggers at the MLB for lettin’ a viral girl toss the first pitch. Aye, what be they thinkin’?
And what’s this? States be rallyin’ to ensure proof of citizenship before ye cast yer vote—talk about tightenin’ the riggin’! Meanwhile, our Captain Trump be takin’ questions like a seasoned pirate, while Harris be hidin’ like a timid mouse! Arrr, the high seas of politics be treacherous indeed!
So raise a tankard and take heed, for this be the humor of the high seas, where the crew is as wild as the waves! Yarrr!