The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Harris charts her treasure map, callin' Trump’s vision a rusty old ship lost at sea!

2024-08-16

Arrr, in her maiden oration, the fair vice captain be claimin' her Republican foe be a landlubber stuck in days of yore! She be boastin’ that she’ll guard the middle class like a treasure chest fer many a moon to come! Avast, what a merry jest!

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn 'bout a fair lass, the Vice President, who took to the stage like a swashbuckler settin' sail on uncharted waters. In her inaugural speech of great import, she cast a critical eye upon her Republican rival, claimin' that the scallywag be too fixated on the days of yore, like a pirate stuck in Davy Jones’ locker!

With a wink and a grin, she proclaimed herself the champion of the middle class, swearin' to guard their treasure from the clutches of greed and misfortune for generations to come. “Fear not, me fellow seafarers!” she cried, “For I shall steer this ship away from the rocky shores of the past and into the bountiful waters of prosperity!” Aye, she be soundin’ like a captain promising gold for all, but can she truly deliver more than just a bottle of rum?

In a world where rival pirates be battlin’ for the hearts of the landlubbers, this lass bravely declares her mission to hoist the sails of hope high above the waves. So, raise a tankard and toast to the grand adventure ahead, filled with promises of a fair wind and a plunderin' of riches for the common folk! Arrr!

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