The Booty Report

Arrr! Florida GOP matey seeks to shoo away smoke on the streets, yet hoists the flag for the green herb!

2024-08-17

Arrr, matey! If that scallywag Sen. Joe Gruters gets his way, puffin’ on tobacco and vapor in the open seas o’ Florida might soon be as rare as a mermaid’s tooth! All hinges on whether the green herb be made legal, savvy? Avast, the times be a-changin’!

Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn from the sunny shores of Florida! A fine swab of the Senate, Joe Gruters by name, be tossin' about a bill that seeks to ban puffin' on the streets, even if the weed be legal! Aye, he be suggestin’ this during a digital parley, claimin' it’s fer the betterment of the environment and the good life of the common folk, should the voters aye the Amendment 3 to legalize the good green stuff fer all landlubbers o’ 21 summers and older!

Now, Gruters, who be no fan of smoke cloudin' the air, be likin' his strolls without the stench of burnt leaves. He fears it'll turn the streets of Florida into a hazy mess like them big cities—Las Vegas and New York, where puffin' in public be as common as a parrot on a pirate's shoulder! He wants to keep the streets, sidewalks, and parks as clean as a well-scrubbed deck, and his bill could put the kibosh on all smokin' in public, aye!

But beware! The Governor, Ron DeSantis, be at odds with this fine fellow, claimin' that legalizin' the herb be a recipe for a stinkin' life. So, grab yer rum and prepare for a ruckus as the good folks of Florida decide if they want to light up or keep their air fresh! Yarrr!

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