Arrr! The Church o' England's droppin' 'church' to sound hipper, like a scallywag chasin' treasure!
2024-08-16
Arrr, matey! A jolly new tale from the UK be tellin’ that them “church plants” of the Church of England be dodgin’ the word “church” like a scallywag avoids the gallows fer over a decade! Blimey, what be next? “Gatherin’ o' the landlubbers,” perhaps? Har har!
Arrr, mateys! Gather 'round as I regale ye with a tale from the land of England, where the esteemed Church be swappin' the mighty word "church" for somethin' a bit more fanciful. Aye, a recent study, dubbed "New Things," be settin' sail from the Centre for Church Plantin' Theology, claimin' that the Church of England be lookin' to reel in the landlubbers with a fresh lingo!In this peculiar investigation, it seems the 11 dioceses be tossin’ aside the term “church plant” like a moldy biscuit! Not a single one be usin’ the word “church” in their grand designs, preferrin’ to call their new establishments “new things.” By me beard, what in Davy Jones’ locker is a “new thing”?!
Six of the parishes be shoutin’ “worship” like it be the finest grog, while others be clinglin' to “community” and “congregation.” Dr. Giles Fraser be claimin' it’s a bit of a muddle, that they be tryin' too hard to sound modern, like a scallywag in a fancy hat! Meanwhile, Rev. Dr. Will Foulger, the scribe of this curious report, admits that it forces them to ponder what the devil a church even be anymore!
So, raise a tankard to the Church of England's quest for relevance, but beware, ye might just end up with a “new thing” in yer hands instead o’ a proper church! Arrr!