Arrr, Gen Z matey be swappin’ from Sanders to Trump, sayin’ ‘tis hard to back scallywags puttin' tampons in lad’s loos!
2024-08-18
Arrr, young Eann Tang, a scallywag of Gen Z, be makin' a bold turn! He done tossed aside his love for the socialist sea dog Bernie Sanders, settlin' his sights on the orange-haired buccaneer, Donald Trump, after plunderin’ through the murky depths of those Democratic policies! Savvy?
Arrr matey! Gather ‘round fer a tale of a lad named Eann Tang, a young scallywag who once sailed atop the Bernie Sanders ship, but has since set his sights on the mighty Donald Trump! This here college buccaneer, at the tender age of twenty, now finds it harder than a barnacle-covered cannonball to back a party that be tossin’ tampons into the men’s quarters!“They're puttin’ blokes in lasses’ sports, and givin’ parents the ol' heave-ho fer protectin’ their wee ones!” he exclaims, as he charts his course towards conservatism. Eann, a scholar at the University of Illinois, shared his metamorphosis with Fox News, claimin’ the current state of affairs be “appalling” and full of “extremism.” Just a few tides ago, he was a proud socialist, but now he’s seen the light and fears the consequences of socialist ideas, which he believes have turned nations to barnacle-laden wrecks!
As the grand election sails ever closer, both Trump and Harris be makin’ their pitches to Eann and his generation, hopin’ to catch the winds of support from the young’uns who hold the power to steer the ship of fate! So hoist the sails and keep a weather eye on the horizon—this election be bound to be a wild ride!