The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! The kin o' the third mate snagged by the Taliban be hollerin’ fer his swift return, sayin', "We be mighty worried!"

2024-08-18

Arrr! Two years since that scallywag Habibi be nabbed by the Taliban, them so-called rulers be denyin’ he’s still in their clutches! Meanwhile, two other poor souls, American lads, be rot in the brig. Blimey, what a right mess that be!

Arrr, me hearties! Gather ‘round, fer I be tellin’ ye the tale of one Mahmood Habibi, a U.S. citizen who be caught in the snares of the Taliban in Afghanistan. He’s been languishin’ in their clutches fer two long years, while them scallywags deny they be holdin’ him at all! Just recently, the fine mates at the State Department spoke up, callin’ out the Taliban's tall tales, listin’ Mahmood among others bein’ unjustly detained.

Alas, our matey Mahmood sailed to Afghanistan in hopes of a future, only to be swept up by the Taliban as they questioned him like a landlubber about a drone strike on one Ayman al-Zawahiri. Instead of joinin’ the crew, he found himself in a dark hold, while his brother, Ahmad, be fightin’ to set him free!

With nary a chance to contact his kin, Mahmood’s fate be hangin’ in the balance. Meanwhile, two other captives, Ryan Corbett and George Glezmann, be sufferin’ worse fates. The Taliban claim they're holdin’ only two Americans, tossin’ Habibi’s name like a fish outta water! Aye, it’s a wild sea of confusion, and Ahmad be rallyin’ the forces to bring his brother home, as the entire family feels the weight of his unjust captivity. So raise a glass, and let’s hope for smooth sailin’ ahead!

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