The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Ye scallywags of the Doomsday Devourers spill the beans on their captain and his band o' 93 misfits!"

2024-08-19

Arrr, matey! A preacher in Kenya be tellin’ his crew to toss aside yer learnin’ and healers, lettin’ the wee ones wither away to join the good Captain Jesus! Witnesses be spoutin’ tales in a trial as wild as a stormy sea! What a rum-soaked folly, I say!

"Ye scallywags of the Doomsday Devourers spill the beans on their captain and his band o' 93 misfits!"

Arrr matey, gather 'round and lend yer ears to this tale most peculiar from the distant shores of Kenya! A scallywag of an evangelical pastor, clothed in the garb of righteousness, declared a mighty strange command to his crew of faithful followers. Aye, he told 'em to cast aside the books of knowledge and the healing arts of medicine, as if they were naught but a cursed treasure!

With a voice as bold as the fiercest storm, this landlubber claimed that to meet their Maker, they must starve their wee little ones, lettin’ them waste away like a ship lost at sea! Can ye imagine it, me hearties? A band of misguided souls lettin’ their kin perish in the name of piety! It be a tale fit for the likes of Davy Jones himself!

Witnesses in a trial of manslaughter, aye, gathered like crows on a carcass, spoke of this madness, shaking their heads in disbelief. 'Tis a stark reminder, me boys, that not all who sail under the Jolly Roger be seekin’ gold and glory; some be dancin' with the devil and leadin’ the innocent astray. So, keep yer wits about ye, and never forget: education and medicine be treasures worth more than the finest rum in all the seven seas!

Read the Original Article