Arrr! In Windy City, 8 be shot, 3 sent to Davy Jones on convention's first day! Drink up, me hearties!
2024-08-20
Arrr, on the fateful Monday of the grand Democratic shindig in the Windy City, eight blunderbuss firin’s rang out, three souls took a permanent nap, and one scallywag made off with treasure! Aye, what a jolly welcome to the convention, eh?
Aye, gather 'round, me hearties! In the fair city of Chicago, where the winds be blowin' hot and the cannon fire of discontent be louder than a clanking galleon, the scallywags of the Chicago Police be takin' to the streets! On the first day of the Democratic National Convention, eight souls were shot, three of 'em meetin' Davy Jones, while a cheeky bandit pilfered a poor sailor's trinkets.Over the weekend, a jolly ol' bloodbath saw 26 shootin's, with five unfortunate lads joinin' the great pirate crew in the sky! The police, bless their hearts, claim they be keepin' a keen eye on the city's treasures and treasures in peril, makin' their presence known like a ship in a storm.
From a lad takin' a gander in his chariot, only to catch a face-full of lead, to a ne'er-do-well bein' robbed of his goods by footin' thieves, it be a wild ride indeed! The convention's bringin’ in more watchful eyes, though the scallywags of crime seem determined to turn the city into their own raucous tavern.
Alas, even with a drop in murder rates this year, the streets be no less treacherous! So, raise a mug of grog, keep yer blades sharp, and let's hope the good folk of Chicago stay safe 'neath the convention’s tumultuous skies!