The Booty Report

Arrr, Tomb Raider scallywags be weepin' like landlubbers! Lara be crashin' the party, not bringin' the treasure ye sought!

2024-08-21

Arrr, matey! 'Tis been nigh on six rotations o' the sun since we last set sail with that Tomb Raider lass! Aye, the treasure be gatherin' dust like a scallywag’s forgotten booty! Where be her plunderin’ adventures, I ask ye? Avast, bring forth the next quest!

Ahoy there, ye scallywags! Gather 'round and lend an ear to the tale of a lass named Lara Croft, the bravest treasure-hunter to ever tread upon the seven seas! 'Twas nearly six long years since she cast her lot in the perilous waters of the last Tomb Raider adventure, and aye, the winds of time be blowin' fierce since then!

Arrr, ye might be wonderin' why this bold wench be absent from the high seas of gaming! Has she fallen prey to the cursed treasure of procrastination? Or perhaps she be trapped in a labyrinth of ancient ruins, searchin' for her lost compass? Nay, me hearties, it be a mystery fit for a sea shanty, but we be all waitin’ with bated breath for her grand return!

In the interim, we’ve seen other games sail the horizon, but none can match the daring deeds and swashbucklin’ flair of our beloved Lara! So let us raise a tankard of grog and toast to the day when she returns to kick down doors, solve puzzles, and plunder treasures anew! For as long as the seas be blue, we shan’t forget our fierce pirate queen! Yarrr!

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