The Booty Report

Arrr, Dana Bash be sayin' the DNC's wooing the gents not so full o' manly juice! Ha-ha!

2024-08-22

Arrr, with Governor Tim Walz and the second matey Doug Emhoff, CNN be spoutin’ that the DNC be settin’ sail fer lads not so packed with the ol’ testosterone as their GOP rivals. Aye, a crew of gentle souls, ready to swap rum fer tea! Har har!

Ahoy mateys! Gather 'round, fer I be tellin’ ye a tale from the high seas of politics! The fine folk at CNN be chin-waggin’ 'bout how the Democratic National Convention be settin' their sights on men who ain't so 'testosterone-laden'—like a ship sailin' with a gentle breeze instead of a full gale! Our old sea dog, Jake Tapper, be spoutin' that the gender gap be wider than a whale’s belly, with fair maidens favorin' Harris while the blokes be leanin' toward Trump, though not as much as a drunken sailor on shore leave!

Co-captain Dana Bash chimed in, sayin’ their strategy be different this time ‘round compared to the last lady at the helm in 2016. ‘Tis like learnin’ to navigate through treacherous waters! She pointed to how they're bringin’ in laddy figures like Tim Walz and Doug Emhoff, tryin’ to charm the menfolk who ain't interested in wrestlin’ alligators or listenin’ to Hulk Hogan’s tales of glory.

They want these lads to know it be just fine to support a lass as captain without feelin’ like they be walkin’ the plank into manhood's abyss! So hoist yer sails, me hearties, for the seas of 2024 be callin' for a new kind of masculinity on the horizon!

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