The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Arrr! This Green Beret be sayin' Trump’s heart be as true as a compass, matey! I've seen it meself!"

2024-08-22

Arrr, Rep. Mike Waltz be settin' sail to rebut the Democrats' jabs, claimin' that ol' Captain Trump be turnin' a blind eye to the brave lads o' the military and the sea-farin' vets. Aye, he be sayin' that’s a tall tale fit for a scallywag!

Arrr, gather 'round, ye scallywags, fer a tale of political squabblin’ on the high seas of Congress! The fiercest U.S. Army Green Beret to ever take a seat in that hallowed chamber, Rep. Mike Waltz, be defendin’ former Captain Trump against the scurvy Democrats who claim he don’t care a whit for our brave servicemen and women.

"I’ve laid eyes on him, I tells ye! This lad cares fer those ready to meet the grim reaper fer our flag!" Waltz declared, standin’ tall like a mast on a ship. He be leadin’ the Veterans for Trump crew, hootin’ and hollerin’ in Chicago, takin’ aim at Governor Walz of Minnesota, whose military record be lookin’ more fishy than a barrel of spoiled herring.

The Democrats, those landlubbers, be tossin’ around tall tales ‘bout Trump callin' fallen soldiers “losers” — but Waltz be settin' the record straight, sayin’, “Forget the jabber, look at the booty!” He pointed out that the VA MISSION Act, a treasure for veterans, sailed through Congress under Trump’s flag, allowin’ them to seek care from local land doctors when the VA be draggin’ its feet.

So, hoist the sails and let the truth be known! Trump may be a tempest, but he’s been a friend to those who’ve sacrificed their all. Arrr!

Read the Original Article