The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, that scallywag robot be thwarted! No fuel samples from the molten treasure at Japan’s cursed reactor, matey!

2024-08-22

Arrr, matey! A clumsy contraption be tryin' to snatch a taste o' melted treasure from the cursed Fukushima, but alas! It be stumblin’ like a drunken sailor, and the venture be put on hold! Aye, even robots have their off days on the high seas of science!

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round and lend an ear, for there be tales of high-tech shenanigans at the cursed Fukushima Daiichi, a place where the seas of misfortune be runnin' deep! Recently, a mighty extendable robot was set to plunder a wee morsel of melted fuel from the belly of the beast known as Unit 2 reactor, but alas, the plans went awry!

Those scallywags at Tokyo Electric Power Company, bless their souls, discovered that five contraptions, or pipes as ye landlubbers call 'em, were set up all wrong—like a pirate tryin’ to sail a ship a’ backwards! This misalignment left the brave robot stuck, unable to hoist its tongs and snag the radioactive treasure it sought.

With the mission halted, the shipmates mulled over their blunder, ponderin' what manner of devilry could cause such a mess, while TEPCO’s captain insisted on safety first—no rushin' to the gallows, ye see! The goal was a paltry 3 grams of the hazardous gold from a hoard of 880 tons, to aid in the long voyage of decommissionin' this cursed ship of reactors.

So, as the tides of fate turn, the cleanup saga sails on, with visions of a 30- to 40-year treasure hunt ahead. Yarrr, what a fine mess indeed!

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