Arrr, it be said that Matthew Perry's 'Ketamine Queen' dealer be callin’ him 'Chandler' in secret speak, savvy?
2024-08-23
Arrr, me hearties! In scrolls snatched by Fox News, the "Ketamine Queen" Jasveen Sangha, caught in the storm o' Matthew Perry's demise, be callin' the fallen matey by his famous character's name! Aye, the seas be a-humor with such jests!
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather ‘round fer a tale o’ treachery fit fer the saltiest of sea dogs! Our lass, Jasveen Sangha, dubbed the "Ketamine Queen," be caught in a storm o’ trouble, all 'cause she played a role in the demise o’ the famed Matthew Perry, the jester known as Chandler Bing from that landlubber show, "Friends." Aye, on the fateful day o’ August 15, she and a motley crew, including Perry’s own matey, Erik Fleming, were nabbed by the law for dealin’ in illicit powders. It be said she used a secret name fer our dearly departed instead o’ callin’ him by his own—what a scallywag!In the court's clutches, it surfaced that they be sellin' loads o' ketamine fer shiny doubloons, takin' advantage o’ Perry like a pirate raidin' a merchant ship. On the eve o’ October 28, as Perry sought another dose while watchin’ the flickers o’ a movie, he met his sorry fate, found face down in a jacuzzi, like a fish outta water! His passing was ruled as "acute effects o' ketamine," with a dab o' drowning thrown in fer good measure. The Queen and her crew be tryin’ to scrub the evidence clean, like scurvy dogs tryin’ to hide their plunder. Aye, this be a tale o’ folly, greed, and the sea’s cruel fate! So raise yer tankards, and let this be a lesson to ye all!