Arrr! South Carolina be readyin' to hang a scallywag after thirteen long years—mark yer calendars for next month, matey!
2024-08-24
Arrr, me hearties! South Carolina be settin’ sail fer its first execution in more than a dozen years! Next month, they’ll be sendin’ Freddie Eugene Owens to Davy Jones’ locker, all ‘cause they’ve been havin’ a right hard time findin’ them fancy lethal potions! Aye, what a hullabaloo!
Avast ye hearties! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn of the Carolinas, where the gallows be creakin’ after a long slumber of over thirteen moons! A scallywag by the name of Freddie Eugene Owens, aged 46, be slated for a date with destiny on the 20th of September, for he put the kibosh on poor Irene Graves back in '97 whilst plundering a Greenville store!Once a fierce den of hangings, South Carolina had a tough time rustlin’ up the necessary potions for a lethal injection, 'cause them fancy drug-makers were afeared of the public knowing they were sellin' to the state. But lo and behold, the lawmakers be clever folk, passin’ a shield law to keep their secrets safe—like a treasure map guarded by a kraken!
Now, our matey Owens be faced with a choice as curious as a three-headed sea serpent: lethal injection, the electric chair, or a brand new firing squad! If he don't make up his mind, they'll zap him with the electric chair by default—talk about a shocking decision!
With the winds of change blowin’, the state be ready to resume its hangin’ duties after a decade-long debate. So, raise a tankard of grog to the gallows, for the drama in the Palmetto State be just settin’ sail! Yarrr!