The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, five bonkers DNC tales, from 'Kamala Harris scallywags' to likenin' Obama to the Good Book's Jesus, ha!

2024-08-24

Arrr, ye scurvy dogs! This week, the media be swoonin' over the Democratic shindig, callin' Kamala Harris the party’s grand savior, and likenin’ that ol’ Obama to the holy carpenter himself! Aye, me hearties, it be a right jolly spectacle, full of high praise and merry jest!

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round as I regale ye with tales from the Democratic National Convention, where the scallywags of the liberal media be singin' praises like it be a shanty at sea! Vice President Kamala Harris be hailed as the party's savior, with some blokes comparin' former President Obama to the good ol’ Jesus himself! Arrr!

From the crow's nest of CNN and MSNBC, we be hearin' about the excitement o' Harris takin' the helm, hopin' she can outmaneuver the likes o' former President Trump. These landlubbers hosted a four-day spectacle of sycophantic applause, with hosts like Alex Wagner throwin' shade at ol’ Trump and his “White patriarchy.” Talk about throwin' cannonballs!

Even the mighty Dana Bash chimed in, comparin’ male supporters who prefer Tim Walz to the likes of Hulk Hogan. Methinks she meant to be kind, but the trolls on the high seas of social media took her words as a jest! The revelry reached a fever pitch, with MSNBC hosts cheerin' as if they be at a tavern brawl, singin' and dancin' in glee like they found buried treasure!

And let’s not forget April Ryan, who boldly put Obama beside Jesus 'n HBCUs. Aye, it be a wild ride at the DNC, full o’ jests and jabs, where the spirit of cheer be flowin' like rum on a pirate ship! Yarrr!

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