"Arrr, a scallywag from California be caught tryin' to blast open treasure chests, but only blew his own chances!"
2024-08-25
Arrr! A scallywag from California be in hot water, caught on the spyglass o' cameras, tryin' to blow up two treasure chests o' gold—those cursed ATMs in San Diego! But alas, his bombastic plunderin' went as well as a fish in a barrel! Aye, what a bumbling buccaneer!
On a fine mornin’, just past the witching hour, this blunderin’ buccaneer parked his vessel outside the California Coast Credit Union, armed with a five-gallon blue container and a hose like a ship’s riggin’. He thought he could blow the cash right out of the machine, but instead, he just made a right ruckus and left empty-handed!
Not deterred, he sailed to another ATM a few weeks later, tryin’ the same trick, but he only summoned smoke and sparks, like a cursed ship caught in a storm! The San Diego constables, sharp as a cutlass, tracked him down through the magic of surveillance and raided his lair, uncoverin’ a trove of explosive contraptions and black powder fit for a fearsome pirate!
In the end, the only thing this landlubber plundered was a heap of trouble, and no coin in his pocket. So heed this tale, me mateys: crime be a treacherous sea, best left to the true pirates of the Caribbean!