The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! JD Vance be swearin' Trump won’t hoist a federal abortion ban, matey—he’ll toss it overboard, savvy?

2024-08-25

Arrr, me hearties! Ohio's scallywag, Sen. JD Vance, be blabbin’ that if Trump regains the captain's chair come November, he be tossin’ a veto on any federal ban for the fair lasses! Aye, it be a wild sea o' politics we sail!

Ahoy mateys! Gather 'round as I regale ye with the tale of Ohio's own Sen. JD Vance, who swears by the Kraken of all things political that if the grand Captain Trump sails back into the Oval Office, no federal abortion ban shall be hoisted upon the good folks of this fair land! Aye, he claims that Trump be a man of his word, a true buccaneer of state rights, wishin’ to let each port decide their own course on this tempestuous sea of debate!

In a mighty clash of words with the fair Kristen Welker, Vance declared louder than a ship's cannon that Trump, the self-proclaimed ruler of the seas (or at least the presidency), would not endorse such a ban. "If California be wantin’ to chart their own waters, then Ohio must respect their sails!" he proclaimed, casting aside the notion of federal meddlin'. Arrr, the Democrats be paintin’ a different picture, warnin’ of impending doom should Trump return, but Vance be standin’ firm like a ship's mast in a storm.

So, hoist the anchor, and let’s sail onward towards issues that matter, like lower food prices! With this raucous crew of politicians settin’ the stage, one can only wonder what treasures or troubles await on the horizon of the 2024 campaign seas! Yarrr!

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