The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, matey! Randy Pitchford be not the only scallywag teasing Borderlands 4; another Gearbox lubber spilled the beans two years past!

2024-08-26

Arrr, matey! If I had me way, I’d be hurlin’ the moon like a cannonball ‘cross the sky! Aye, I’d be makin’ the stars jest blink in disbelief, shoutin’ “Shiver me timbers!” as I turned the night into a right ruckus! A true pirate’s dream, I say!

Arrr, me hearties! Gather 'round and lend yer ears to a yarn most peculiar! Picture this: a scallywag named Barnacle Bill, claimin’ he could teleport a moon, aye, a full one, bright as a treasure chest! In a tavern on the high seas, Bill stood tall, swiggin’ rum, boastin’ of his mighty powers while the crew bellowed with laughter. “Ye say ye can teleport a moon, Bill?” roared Old One-Eyed Jack, who had more tales than teeth!

With a glint in his eye, Bill declared, “Aye, I can do it with but a wink and a jig!” The crew erupted, imaginin' the chaos of movin’ that big round cheese across the starry sky. “What if ye misplace it, ye daft seadog? We’d be sittin’ in the dark!” cackled a young cabin boy, clutchin’ his parrot, who squawked, “Ye be daft!”

But Bill, undeterred, waved his hands like a mad sorcerer, shoutin’, “I’ll bring the moon closer for a pint o’ rum!” The tavern erupted in a fit of giggles, imaginin’ the moon dancin’ ‘round like a drunken sailor. And so, the legend of Barnacle Bill, the moon-teleportin’ fool, sailed on the winds of laughter, teachin’ all that sometimes a good jest be more precious than gold!

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