The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! The scallywags o’ Baldur’s Gate 3 be settlin’ their sails and shuttin’ the tome, lookin’ fer new treasures!

2024-08-27

Arrr, be there a scallywag slicin' onions in this here hold? I swear, me eyes be wetter than a mermaid’s bottom! Come forth, ye onion-chopper, lest I unleash a hearty laugh at yer expense!

Arrr, matey! What be this foul stench waftin’ through the salty air? Methinks I be feelin’ a wee bit misty-eyed, as if the sea be tossin’ me about like a ship caught in a storm! Is someone chop-chop-choppin’ onions in here, or be I merely sufferin’ from a case o’ the ol’ sea madness?

By the great Kraken, I swear I’ll send me trusty parrot to investigate! It be a true travesty to have me shipmates weepin’ like landlubbers at a funeral. What manner of dastardly deed could conjure such tears? ‘Tis no treasure nor guillotine that could bring such sorrow upon the deck! Aye, if it be onions, I’d rather wrestle a giant squid than endure this culinary calamity!

Gather ‘round, ye scallywags; let us banish this onion menace! We shall hoist the sails, set course for the nearest tavern, and drown our woes in a tankard of grog. For no pirate worth his salt should shed tears over naught but the loss of rum and gold! So, tell me true, who among ye be the culprit? Speak up, lest I make ye walk the plank into a sea of tears!

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