The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, two mighty ships o' the sea be told to linger in the heated sands, where tempers run wild!

2024-08-27

Arrr, me hearties! The gallant ships USS Theodore Roosevelt and USS Abraham Lincoln be commanded by the landlubbers at the Pentagon to keep a weather eye on the Middle East! Tensions be risin’ higher than a crow’s nest, so let’s hoist the sails and share a hearty laugh, savvy?

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round as I regale ye with the tale of two mighty vessels of the U.S. Navy, the USS Theodore Roosevelt and the USS Abraham Lincoln, ordered to keep their hulls near the tumultuous Middle East seas! 'Tis a pledge from the fine lads at the Pentagon to aid Israel in fendin' off threats from the nefarious scallywags of Iran and their ilk.

Just as the Lebanese ruffians, known as Hezbollah, be launchin' a barrage of rockets like cannon fire from a rogue ship, the Israeli forces scrambled their fleet of flying machines, unleashin' a storm of 100 fighter jets to obliterate those dastardly rocket launchers aimed at their shores!

Amidst this grand kerfuffle, Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin had a chinwag with Israel’s Defense Minister, affirming that the Yanks stand firm as a rock in the tempest, supportin' Israel's right to defend her treasures against any sea-farin' foes. The two carrier strike groups now lurk in the Gulf of Oman, keepin' a watchful eye on the horizon.

Though the Pentagon be hush-hush about how long these mighty ships will remain, we know the USS Lincoln just docked while the Roosevelt's been holdin' the fort since June! So, hoist the sails and brace for more adventures, for the high seas be callin'! Arrr!

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