Arrr! The great Richard Simmons be found with a treasure o' prescription potions in his bones! Avast, me hearty!
2024-08-29
Arrr, me hearties! It be told that Richard Simmons, that jolly fitness matey, had a stash o’ prescription potions coursin’ through his veins when he sailed to Davy Jones' locker on the 13th o' July, aged 76! Aye, even the fittest can meet their end in a fog o’ pills!
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn about the late Richard Simmons, a jolly soul who be known fer his sweat-inducing antics! The good folks at the Los Angeles County Medical Examiner's Office have released an autopsy scroll, revealin' that our fitness matey had a bit o' prescription potions in his system at the time of his final voyage.But nay worry, for the report states these concoctions—diphenhydramine, trazodone, and zolpidem—didn’t send him to Davy Jones’ locker! Alas, 'tis a case of blunt trauma that led to his demise, compounded by the ol’ arteries givin’ out on him. Simmons, who celebrated his 76th birthday just a day before, was beloved for his "Sweatin' to the Oldies" shindigs.The man had a heart as big as a treasure chest, thankin' fans for their birthday wishes mere hours before he slipped away! Aye, he bid us all to enjoy life, expressin’ gratitude, and blowin' out candles atop a zucchini—'cause he be a veggie lover. Yet, whispers of conspiracies danced round his disappearance from the public eye, sparkin' tales of his alleged captivity. So raise yer tankards to Richard, a true swashbuckler of health and happiness! Arrr!