The Booty Report

Arrr, matey! That scallywag who fell to Coco be confessin' to snoozin’ ‘twixt battles on the court! Ha!

2024-08-30

Arrr, matey! Tatjana Maria, the lass of the German seas, be spillin’ the beans about her snoozin’ ‘twixt battles at the U.S. Open! She took a nap while the winds of fortune blew, only to be bested by the fierce Coco Gauff! Aye, what a jolly jest!

Ahoy mateys! Gather 'round as we spin the yarn of one Tatjana Maria, a fair lass from Germany, who faced the fierce Coco Gauff at the U.S. Open, only to be vanquished 6-4, 6-0! Aye, it be a brutal battle on the courts, but our brave German lass had a secret weapon—naps! Aye, she confessed to takin' a snooze betwixt her matches, for the evening hours be wearin’ on her, much like a long night of swashbucklin’ on the high seas!

At the ripe age of 37, this mother of two knows the value of a good nap, claimin’, “If I get tired, I just want to sleep!” And who can blame her? Even young Zhang Zhizhen, a silver medalist from the Paris Olympics, be admitin' to catchin' some Z’s in between tussles. “Aye, if I feel weary, I take a nap!” he be sayin'—a true pirate’s wisdom!

As for Gauff, the young sea dog be movin’ on to the third round, ready to defend her title from last year. Despite some rough waters lately, she be a force to reckon with, ready to take on Elina Svitolina. So raise yer tankards to naptime, for even the fiercest players be needin' a wee bit of rest to conquer the court! Arrr!

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