The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Arrr, no scallywag be buyin' Harris' yarn 'bout Biden's health, laughs Scott Jennings in a squabble fit for a tavern!"

2024-08-30

Arrr, matey! Scott Jennings be sayin' that no soul aboard this ship be buyin' Vice President Kamala's tall tale 'bout Captain Biden's health bein' as steady as a calm sea! Aye, it be as believable as a mermaid in a barrel o' rum!

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather ye round as I spin a yarn about the Vice President Harris claimin' that ol' Captain Biden be fit as a fiddle! But lo and behold, Scott Jennings of CNN be shoutin' that "nobody believes" such tall tales! Aye, he be ponderin' why she ain't takin' responsibility for feedin' the crew them falsehoods, seein' as the captain be out of the race, like a ship lost at sea!

After a long drought, Harris finally spoke to Dana Bash, defendin’ her role while swearin' her "values haven't changed," even as they’ve tossed about like a ship in a storm! Jennings be scoffin’, sayin' nobody’s buyin’ her tale that Biden be as strong as a sea monster! And when an ex-staffer claimed to believe it, Jennings shot back, "Then why isn’t he runnin'?" Aye, a fine point indeed!

Harris be clingin’ to the notion she’ll carry on Biden’s policies, but Jennings be sayin' she showed no remorse for the shipwreck they call the economy! With price controls proposed that critics be callin' the "nail in the coffin," the seas be lookin’ rough for her campaign! And as silence from the White House hangs in the air, we all wonder if this ship be sinkin' or if the crew can right her before the storm hits!

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