That scallywag Tim Walz be polishin’ his treasure map fer a shiny vote, says the Post's landlubber scribe! Arrr!
2024-08-31
Arrr! That scallywag Kathleen Parker be callin' out Gov. Tim Walz, sayin' he be blowin' his own horn like a parrot on a treasure map! She claims he be stretchin' the truth for political booty in her latest scribblin'. Avast, matey! What a jolly jest!
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round for a tale of Minnesota's own Gov'ner Tim Walz, who be catchin' the ire of columnist Kathleen Parker, who penned a scathing piece in that fancy rag, the Washington Post. She be claimin' that Walz, the scallywag, be known to embellish his past for a pinch o' political treasure!Parker ain't sayin' he be a liar, no sir, but she suspects he be gildin' his résumé like a pirate coverin' a rusty ship in gold leaf. With the winds of controversy blowin’ after he be named Vice President Harris' running mate, Walz finds himself on the defensive like a ship under cannon fire, particularly over a drunken escapade from '95 when he was clocked goin' 96 in a 55—crikey!
Walz's crew tried to spin that tale, sayin' he was just hard o' hearing from his days in the National Guard. But the truth be splashin' like waves on the deck! In a recent interview, Walz stumbled worse than a landlubber on a rocky shore, avoidin' questions like a cowardly sea rat. His fellow veterans ain't pleased, callin' him out for his tall tales. Avast, mateys, the seas of politics be treacherous, and Walz be sailin' on choppy waters!