The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Germany’s tossin' 28 Afghan lads back home, the first since them scallywags took over in 2021! Avast!

2024-08-31

Arrr, matey! First time since the Taliban waved their Jolly Roger, Germany’s tossed 28 scallywags back to Afghanistan! Aye, they be called ‘convicted criminals,’ but I reckon they’re just landlubbers in a tight spot! Har har!

Arrr mateys! Gather ‘round for a particularly peculiar tale from the high seas of bureaucracy! On a fine Friday, the German galleon launched a bold venture, sending 28 Afghan scallywags back to the shores of their homeland for the first time since the dastardly Taliban took the helm, back in August of 2021. These landlubbers, marked as convicts, left many a sailor wonderin’ what mischief they’d wrought!

The ship's spokesman, Steffen Hebestreit, proclaimed that the safety o’ Germany be far more precious than the ruckus of those who’d trespass the law. His captain, Chancellor Olaf Scholz, echoed with fervor, claimin’ that no criminal’d find solace aboard their vessel. The scoundrels were reported to have committed heinous acts—like arson and worse—enough to make even the toughest pirate shudder!

Yet, the lass Julia Duchrow from Amnesty International be raisin’ a ruckus, claimin’ the sands of Afghanistan be no safe harbor for these deported souls. With the seas churning over political tides and elections a-comin’, the German crew be makin’ waves over immigration policies. Meanwhile, knives be gettin’ tightened, and deportations be set to rise like the sun over the horizon!

Avast! This tale be far from finished, as the winds of change blow through the realm of law and order! Yarrr!

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