Arrr! Jewish mateys be armin’ themselves ‘fore the feast o’ holidays, what with the scallywags usin’ antisemitic tricks!
2024-09-03
Arrr, matey! The wise sea dogs of security be spoutin’ to Fox News that the Jewish lads and lasses be armoring themselves like fine ships, readyin’ for trouble in these treacherous waters! Aye, they be guardin’ their treasure with naught but nonlethal cannonades! Sail safe, ye hearty crew!
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round to hear the tale of Jewish Americans, savvy in self-defense, as the high holidays approach and the seas be fraught with rising antisemitism! The fine captain of the Community Security Service, Richard Priem, be training thousands of brave souls to protect their ships, or rather, their synagogues, from nefarious foes. With a surge in demand since the dreadful attacks of October 7th, this band of defenders aims to empower their crew to take charge of their own safety, not to replace the law's watchful eye, but to add another layer of security, savvy?As pirates arm themselves with cutlasses, our Jewish mates are turnin’ to the Byrna launcher, a non-lethal contraption that sends foes a-flying without drawing blood! This nifty gadget can break glass and leave aggressors feelin’ as though they’ve been doused in fire for a spell—without the need for permits or permits! Like a true crew united, they’re standing firm against the rising tide of hate, banding together to keep their sails high and their spirits invincible.
So, let it be known! As the cannons of antisemitism roar, the brave defenders of Jewish life hoist their flags of resilience, ready to face whatever storms may come, ensuring their community can celebrate their way of life, free from fear and full of pride! Arrr!