The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Jessica Pegula be squashing wild tales o' butler service, then bestin' the top seed at the US Open!

2024-09-05

Ahoy! Jessica Pegula, fair lass of the tennis seas and daughter of the mighty Terry Pegula, be settin’ the sails straight! She’s quashed them tall tales ‘bout havin’ butlers and such. She’s no pampered treasure, just a hearty swashbuckler on the courts! Arrr!

Arrr! Jessica Pegula be squashing wild tales o' butler service, then bestin' the top seed at the US Open!

Avast, ye scallywags! Gather 'round to hear the tale of one Jessica Pegula, a lass who swashbuckled her way past the fearsome Iga Swiatek at the 2024 U.S. Open, trouncing the top-ranked sea dog in straight sets, 6-2, 6-4! The winds be favorin’ her as she sails into the semifinals, where she be settin’ her sights on the formidable Karolína Muchová, hopin' to claim her rightful place in the final!

But hark! Rumors be swirling like a tempest, claimin’ that Pegula be born with a silver spoon, the spawn of billionaire Terry Pegula! Arrr, she scoffed at such notions, callin’ it “a wee bit annoyin’” that folk credit her with all manner of riches, like a butler and a private ship! “I be no lady of leisure!” she declared, burstin’ the bubble o’ preposterous assumptions.

With a hearty chuckle, she shared her affection for the humble subway and trains, sayin’ she’d rather brave the thrum of the tracks than ride in a flashy carriage! So as she prepares to battle Muchová, let it be known that this buccaneer of the courts be livin’ her life with the spirit of adventure, be it by land or sea! Yarrr!

Read the Original Article