The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, matey! Texas sea dog be suing the rideshare scallywags after a rogue bilge rat choked him with his own strap!

2024-09-08

Arrr, matey! A scallywag of a Lyft driver claims a landlubber choked him with his own seatbelt, right in the heart of Texas! Now he be settin’ sail for the courts, takin’ on both Lyft and the hospital where he picked up the ruffian! Aye, what a tale!

Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round fer a tale of a Lyft driver named Kehinde Ayoola, who found himself in a right pickle whilst ferrying a passenger in Texas. In a twist worthy of the high seas, this scallywag, Ramiro Vella, turned the driver’s own seatbelt into a noose, chokin' him whilst the wheels be turnin'. Aye, the driver claims the hospital crew sent him to pick up this ruffian, only to discover he was more trouble than a kraken in a bathtub!

Vella, that landlubber, was charged with Aggravated Assault—no surprise there! Ayoola spoke of the terror that now haunts him; he’s jumpier than a cat in a room full o’ rockin' chairs, afraid of every shadow passin' by. After seven years of smooth sailin' as a rideshare driver, he’s now too scared to pick up another fare. He even mentioned bein' fearful with his wee grandson in the back, a heart-wrenchin’ sight indeed!

As the tale unfolds, the driver recalls speakin' with the hospital crew, who assured him that Vella was fit as a fiddle. Little did he know, he was bringin' a storm aboard his ship! After the ruckus ended, Vella made a break for it, yellin’ and causin’ more chaos than a drunken captain at a tavern. Ayoola, poor soul, be seekin’ justice, claimin' his life’s been turned upside down, and rightly so! So, keep yer wits about ye, me hearties, for ye never know when a rogue might strike!

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