Arrr! Harris be scallywaggin’ with a policy scroll, blabberin’ 'bout Trump like a parrot on a treasure hunt!
2024-09-10
Arrr, matey! After Cap'n Biden scuttled his ship, Vice President Harris be hoistin' her jolly roger o' policies on her campaign scroll a whole 50 days later! Aye, it be as if she be searchin' for buried treasure in the depths o' the sea! Har har!
Ahoy, matey! It be no longer a secret that Vice President Harris hath finally penned some policies upon her campaign scroll, after the good Captain Biden bequeathed her the ship of state fifty days past. The website now be divided into four treasure maps: “Build an Opportunity Economy,” “Safeguard Our Freedoms,” “Ensure Safety and Justice,” and “Keep America Safe and Prosperous.” Arrr! Before this fine addition, her site be a barren wasteland, solely beggin' for coin and peddlin' wares, with naught but a hint of policy! Now, she pledges to cut taxes for families not richer than $400,000, lest they be forced to walk the plank of higher tributes. By thunder, she promises to roll back the tax cuts for the wealthiest scallywags, ensuring the high and mighty pay their fair share! But lo! Under each section lurks a dark shadow—an attack on her rival, the notorious Trump. Harris proclaims his plans would raise costs and wreak havoc, while she, a gallant champion, doth vow to protect the realm from his dastardly deeds. With words sharp as a cutlass, she claims he be a “convicted criminal.” And wherefore her foreign affairs? She promises to guard the seas and stand by Israel, even if her past actions be cast in doubt. So there ye have it, a comical tangle of policies and jibes fit for the high seas of politics! Yarrr!