Arrr, wee scallywag bites the dust after munchin’ on a treasure pill from a jolly thrift shop! Har har!
2024-09-14
Arrr, matey! A wee lass of 18 moons met Davy Jones after swallerin' a wicked suboxone pill she plundered from a landlubber's satchel in a treasure trove of thrift! Her scallywag folks were busy lootin’ the bounties, unaware their ship was sinkin’! Aye, a tragic jest, indeed!
Arrr, gather 'round ye scallywags, fer I be tellin' a tale from the landlocked seas o' Indiana! A wee lass, just 18 moons old, by the name of Azana Trentman, met her fate after bein' enticed by a sweet morsel found in a thrift store's treasure chest – a backpack, no less! Aye, on the 4th day of September, her kin noticed the young siren goin’ all unresponsive-like, and off to the hospital they sailed, but alas, she was pronounced lost at sea by the 8th.The Dearborn County sea dogs, otherwise known as the Sheriff’s Office, be investigatin’ this tragic misadventure. Turns out, the sweet treat was none other than a fruit-flavored suboxone pill, a potion used to tame the mighty beast of opioid addiction, as noted by learned folk at Harvard. Azana’s brave parents, Austen and Shayna, thought the lass had merely found candy, but their hearts sank when the truth washed ashore.
In a twist of fate, the parents chose to donate their daughter’s precious organs, givin' life to three other souls. A GoFundMe treasure chest be filled with over $19,000 in her memory. So raise a mug to little Azana, whose spirit sails on, as the rest of us landlubbers ponder the dangers hidden in the depths of our own chests.