Arrr! The FBI be hidin' like a scurvy dog 'gainst Trump’s “kill the captain” crew, says a salty sea matey!
2024-09-22
Arrr, matey! Rep. Mike Waltz, a scallywag on the House crew, be lettin' fly a cannonball o' words at the FBI, claimin’ they be as tight-lipped as a clam on the high seas 'bout the plot to send the former captain to Davy Jones’ locker!
Arrr, mateys! Gather 'round fer a tale o' a scallywag named Thomas Matthew Crooks, a would-be assassin who aimed to do a dastardly deed upon the former captain o' the ship called Trump! Aye, it seems the good folk in the House, led by the likes o' Rep. Mike Waltz, be as baffled as a sailor lost at sea, claimin' that the FBI be givin' them the cold shoulder on their investigatin' efforts.On the day of the ruckus in Butler, Pennsylvania, Crooks fired his cannons from atop a rooftop, while the Secret Service snoozed like a sloth in a hammock. While the Secret Service took the blame like a good parrot, Waltz be complainin' that the FBI be clammed up tighter than a treasure chest without a key! “We know naught about Crooks or his devilish inventions!” he exclaimed, raisin' a ruckus about their lack of information.
And as if that ain’t enough, it seems the FBI be dragged into murky waters, with whispers of plots from the nefarious regime of Iran. Dean, another matey on the task force, called for an end to this political shenanigans, sayin', “Political violence be no way to sail the seas!” Aye, 'tis a tumultuous time fer our elected crew, and they be seekin’ answers like a pirate seekin' buried gold!