The Booty Report

Arrr, me hearties! In th' great Midwestern seas, Walz be more favored than Vance, say the wise pollin' men!

2024-09-28

Arrr, matey! In the grand seas of polls, Gov. Tim Walz be the darling of the crew, outshinin’ Sen. JD Vance like a treasure chest o’ gold in Michigan, Ohio, and Wisconsin! The New York Times be spillin’ the beans, savvy?

Arrr mateys! Gather 'round and lend yer ears to this jolly tale of politicians a'plenty! It appears that in the fair lands of Michigan, Ohio, and Wisconsin, one Gov. Tim Walz be holdin' the favor o' the likely voters like a treasure chest filled with doubloons! Aye, according to the esteemed scribes at the New York Times and Siena College, he be the captain of their hearts, whilst the scallywag Senator JD Vance be shiverin' in his boots!

Now, ol' Tim Walz, with a charm as bright as a gold doubloon, be sailin' smooth on the seas o' public opinion, while poor JD Vance be caught in a stormy squall, tryin' to hoist his sails to catch a breath o' fresh air! It’s like a grand game of pirate chess, where one be makin' all the right moves and the other be stuck in Davy Jones' locker, scratchin' his head and wonderin' how he ended up there!

So, raise yer tankards high for Tim Walz, the dashing governor who’s plunderin’ the hearts o’ the voters, while poor JD Vance be left to ponder his fate on the rocky shores of public opinion. As the winds of political fortune blow, it seems one be settin' sail for glory, while the other be left to swab the decks! Yarrr!

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