"Arrr, the great storm be a-comin’! Last chance to flee Florida, or ye be swimmin' with the fishies, matey!"
2024-10-09
Ahoy matey! Snag ye tales o' the high seas from the mightiest news captain, delivered to yer treasure chest o' an inbox at the break o’ dawn! Don’t be a landlubber; feast yer eyes on the juiciest yarns before the sun be high! Arrr!
In other news, Arizona be kickin' off its in-person and absentee votein', while a Florida sheriff be warnin' the scallywags about keepin' their wits about 'em. Meanwhile, CBS '60 Minutes' be servin' up a cholicky stew of edited words from Vice President Harris, makin' her fumble like a drunken sailor on a rolling ship!
And what be this? Walz be callin' fer a grand ol’ change to the Constitution, aim'n to sink the Electoral College! As if the seas of politics weren't rough enough! Harris be dodgin' questions like cannonballs, all whilst a storm chaser warns of a fiercer beast on the horizon. Kate Middleton be tossin' her hands up in disgust, as if caught in a squall of royal drama!
So, me mateys, keep yer eyes peeled and yer rum close, for the winds o' change be blowin’ fierce and wild! Arrr!