Arrr, Vance be shoutin’ that the next captain o’ this ship must hoist the Jolly Roger fer Americans, not migrants!
2024-10-09
Arrr, mateys! Senator JD Vance be holdin' court in Tucson, shoutin' at the winds 'bout the Harris-Biden crew, sayin’ they be forgettin' their shipmates! Aye, puttin’ Americans last like a scallywag hidin’ the rum! Avast, where be the treasure for us, ye landlubbers?
Arrr, me hearties! Gather 'round fer a tale of Sen. JD Vance, the R-Ohio buccaneer, stirrin' up the crew in Tucson, Arizona, on the day the early votin' hoisted its sails! With a hearty cheer fer the Trump campaign's "America First" motto, Vance proclaimed that the landlubbers of this great nation oughta come first, like a fine bottle of rum before a mere fish stew!"Aye, this vessel should serve the good ol' American folk!" he bellowed, callin' fer compassion fer those sturdy citizens who weather the storms of misfortune. He pointed a finger at FEMA, claimin' they be givin' a treasure chest o' $1.7 billion to help wayward migrants, instead o’ fixin' up the mess after a storm hits home! "Nay!" he cried, "Our good galleon’s funds ought to patch up our own when disaster strikes!"
Vance urged the crew to cast their votes early, likin' it to avoidin' a shipwreck on Election Day, when unforeseen calamities might beset ye! "Get yer arse out there, no matter how ye vote—by mail or by cannon fire!" he roared. With a wink and a grin, he set sail to ensure every matey’s voice is heard, for every pirate knows, the best way to keep yer treasure safe is to guard it early! Arrr!