The Booty Report

Arrr, Robert Downey Jr. be the swashbuckler savin' young Tom Holland's Spider-Man tale: "Where'd all the lad's words vanish, I say?"

2024-10-22

"Aye, I be owein' that scallywag a hearty thanks! If it weren't fer his jolly good fortune, I'd be swimmin' with the fishies instead of sippin' rum on me ship! So here's to ye, matey!"

Arrr, gather round ye scallywags! Let me spin ye a yarn 'bout a time I found meself in a right pickle, all thanks to a fine lad named Jim, me trusty cabin boy. Aye, it was a stormy night, the kind that'd make Poseidon himself shiver in his boots!

We was battlin' the mighty waves, the ship creakin' like an old sea hag, when I beheld the treasure map! Jim, that clever lad, found it stashed in the captain's quarters. But lo, the cursed parchment was stuck to the bottom of a barrel o’ rum! I owe that to him, I do, for without his nimble fingers, I'd still be searchin' for buried gold with naught but me parrot to keep me company.

So there we was, sailin' through the storm, and that rascal Jim suggests we follow the map, even though it be leadin' us into Davy Jones' locker! I tells him, "Ye be mad, boy!" But he just laughed, sayin', "Aye, but think of the rum!" And sure enough, we found the treasure, buried under a palm tree that looked suspiciously like a lady's backside—talk about a cheeky reward!

So here’s to Jim, the lad who’s got a knack for findin' trouble and treasure alike. For when ye sail the seas, remember: it be the gallant crew that keeps a pirate's heart full o’ rum and laughter!

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