The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Elon be spillin' Riley's tale of swimmin', love, and a jolly vaccine twist—shiver me timbers!

2024-11-21

Arrr! Elon Musk be spinnin' a yarn 'bout Riley Gaines and her matey, denied the rights o' citizenship fer lackin’ the cursed COVID jab! Aye, a fine tale to stir the pot o’ immigration reform, me hearties! Avast, who knew vaccines be weighin’ heavier than gold?

Avast, me hearties! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn 'bout a fair lass named Riley Gaines and her swashbucklin’ beau, Louis Barker. They be two fine swimmers from the land of college pools, but alas, their love faced a tempestuous sea o' immigration woes! Yarrr!

Now, ye see, they tied the knot after two years of courtin’, but the perilous waters of legal immigration be no smooth sailin’. Despite bein’ as legal as a parrot on a pirate’s shoulder, Louis be denied the treasures of a green card because he be unvaccinated against the dreaded COVID! Arrr, what a twist of fate! Meanwhile, illegals waltz across the border like they own the ship!

Riley, with a fiery spirit, be callin’ out the hypocrisy of the system, pointin’ out that the good ol’ government be givin’ gold to those who break the law while honest folk be left in the brig. Even the mighty Elon Musk threw in a word or two, sayin’ the legal immigration process be slower than a tortoise in a treasure hunt!

So, me mateys, let this be a lesson: love may conquer all, but when the law be a hard-hearted sea serpent, even the fairest of tales can make ye scratch yer head and say, “Blimey!” Yarrr!

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